Mom

Warning: Long post ahead!

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Mom,

Did you notice the date? Can you believe it's already been a year since we've said good bye? As this anniversary has drawn closer, I have been thinking of you and I want to dedicate this blog post to you. This post gets long and sappy, but it comes from my heart. I love you and miss you, Mom.

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~ Do You Know? ~

Do you know how many times I've wanted to pick up the phone to call you?

Do you know how many times I knew you'd know the answer and what I should do?

Do you know how many times a day I think about you?

Do you know that I still open your perfume?

Do you know it's been a year since I bid you adieu?

And do you know that every now and then I still shed a tear or two?

But...

I know that I am who I am because of you!

I know that I used to be embarrassed of the quirky things I do,

But I know that I'm grateful to be like you!

I know that you're safe and happy and with Daddy too!

And I know that I will see you again - it's true!

And most importantly, I know that you know that I love you!

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Do you know that at your beside, one year ago today, B & I made some promises? We promised each other that we would get together regularly. We promised that we would not fall out of touch just because you wouldn't be here to bring us together. You probably won't believe this, but B even made me promise that we'd learn needlepoint - because you loved it so. We've kept all the promises. We are taking needlepoint classes every other week and we're having a great time. (Then of course we go to lunch at our favorite Normandy cafe - remember how we loved going there?)

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Patty, our needlepoint instructor, and Marilyn.

B working on Starry Night at needlepoint class. (It is just amazing that she's doing needlepoint, isn't it Mom!) And she's done a beautiful job!

I'm finishing Spring that you started for me last June. (Notice that it's sitting on the table at the empty chair on the right.) I really wanted you to complete it for me, but I am enjoying learning how to needlepoint and I should have it finished probably sometime this summer or fall. And I do think it's pretty neat that both you and I have stitched on it. Together our stitches will blend together to complete the project. Just like life. Our lives are blended together to complete our project of mortality. Once our project is complete, then we move on to our next project, and whatever that may be, I plan on being there with you, so save me a seat!

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Mom, I have so much gratitude in my heart that I just want to thank you for a few things. This doesn't even come close to the tip of the iceberg of my love and gratitude for you, but it's a start:

Thank you, Mom, for so much and for so many things. Thank you for my brothers and my sister, I love them all so very much - and I know they love me too. Thank you for having me even though I wasn't in the plans. :D Thank you for loving Daddy and teaching me the importance of families. Thank you for helping Daddy through his cancer and death. Thank you for being so strong and independent without Daddy. Thank you for putting up with me during my teenage years (and if you can help me from above as I deal with my teens, that would be great!). Thank you for the car when I was 16 and then for fixing the car after each and every wreck & dent :D. Thank you for being so cool - all my friends were jealous because I had the coolest mom. Thank you for my beautiful wedding. Thank you for listening to me complain about Jeff as we tried to figure out how to be married ... and thank you for loving him regardless! Thank you for loving my Gway & Pa too. Thank you for the baby showers. Thank you for helping me with my new babies and adoring them as much as, if not more than, I do. Thank you for the fun trips to Lagoon and the Zoo and Toys R Us with my children. Thank you for loving me even when I became a Mormon! :D (And thank you for coming to church with me sometimes too.) Thank you for all the balloons and presents on our birthdays. Thank you for the cards in the mail for each holiday and birthday. Thank you for spending Christmas with us every year. Thank you for being there for me during my cancer - and thank you for apologizing to me because you thought my cancer was your fault...you silly girl! Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for all the advice and thank you for just plain listening to me. Thank you for always being on my side, for never criticizing me, and for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being a great example to me. Thank you for being the greatest mom! Thank you, Mom, thank you!